How Many Times Did I Cry Today?

The first tears fell

when I had a  stupid

argument with my partner.

 

An innocent remark,

misinterpreted, find

myself sniping,

quick to anger & tears.

 

The second tears

come when I’m

finally told, after

two weeks that

I didn’t get a job

I interviewed for,

 

tears of frustration;

anger,

self-pity,

disappointment,

resignation,

defeat.

 

The third tears

fall, unexpectedly

in the toilets,

not thinking or

feeling anything

in particular.

 

A wave of

sadness sweeps

over me, so

intense it stops

my breath. I

feel my face

fall apart

and the sobs

shake me.

 

I cry like

a child,

cover my

face with

both hands,

mouth trembles,

the sadness fills

every inch of me.

 

I’m on

the verge

of tears all

day, sorrow

simmers below

the surface.

 

I just want to

lie in a dark

room, hug myself

and rock.

 

And I don’t even know why.

Copyright © 2017 by Pamela Scott

This also appears on my Tumblr blog.

 

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